The Bible tells us that the apostle Paul was someone who spread the message of Christ and who planted churches, but scripture also tells us that he was a Jew, thoroughly trained in the law and zealous for God (Acts 22:3) and that he persecuted the church.
In Acts 6:8-15, 7:1-60, 8:1 we read that he was present when Stephen was stoned and murdered, and consented to his death.
In Acts 22:4-5 we read that he persecuted followers of Christ to the death, binding and delivering both men and women into prisons.
In Acts 8:3 we read that he created havoc in the church, entering every house and dragging both men and women into prison.
In Acts 26:9-11 he states the following about himself:
“I too was convinced that I ought to do all that was possible to oppose the name of Jesus of Nazareth. And that is just what I did in Jerusalem. On the authority of the chief priests I put many of the Lord’s people in prison, and when they were put to death, I cast my vote against them. Many times I went from one synagogue to another to have them punished, and I tried to force them to blaspheme. I was so obsessed with persecuting them that I even hunted them down in foreign cities."
However the Bible tells us in Acts 9 that while on his way to Damascus to persecute believers, he has an encounter with Jesus and becomes a follower of Christ; and in 2 Corinthians 11:16-33 and 12:1-10 he describes his hardships and commitment to the cause of furthering the gospel of Jesus Christ.
We see a radical transformation of a man that once persecuted the church to a man who was now proclaiming the message he fought so hard to stop.
A man who once consented to the death of those following the teachings of Christ to a man who became a vessel unto the Holy Spirit to proclaim a message of faith, love, grace and salvation that is found in Christ alone. A man through whom God worked mighty miracles (Acts 19:11)
A man that once imprisoned believers, to a man who was now prepared to endure imprisonment, beatings, suffering and persecution for believing in this same Christ.
A man who, with all of the above in mind, could say with such certainty in 2 Timothy 4:6-8 that he had fought the good fight, that he finished his race and that he kept the faith.
Some of the reasons for this transformation was the Apostle Paul asking God for forgiveness; choosing not to focus on the past; developing a desire to know God more intimately; communing and submitting to the will of the Holy Spirit and depending on God's grace and mercy every step of the way:
Philippians 3:8-16
But more than that, I count everything as loss compared to the priceless privilege and supreme advantage of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord [and of growing more deeply and thoroughly acquainted with Him—a joy unequaled]. For His sake I have lost everything, and I consider it all garbage, so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him [believing and relying on Him], not having any righteousness of my own derived from [my obedience to] the Law and its rituals, but [possessing] that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith. And this, so that I may know Him [experientially, becoming more thoroughly acquainted with Him, understanding the remarkable wonders of His Person more completely] and [in that same way experience] the power of His resurrection [which overflows and is active in believers], and [that I may share] the fellowship of His sufferings, by being continually conformed [inwardly into His likeness even] to His death [dying as He did]; so that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it [this goal of being Christlike] or have already been made perfect, but I actively press on so that I may take hold of that [perfection] for which Christ Jesus took hold of me and made me His own. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have made it my own yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [heavenly] prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature [pursuing spiritual perfection] should have this attitude. And if in any respect you have a different attitude, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us stay true to what we have already attained.
I would like to focus on something mentioned above, "forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead". This is a big statement by the Apostle Paul considering everything we just read about the things he did to the church. I believe, and this is just a personal belief, that in that statement Paul may have been referring to a time when he may have experienced times where the devil must've bombarded his mind with thoughts about his past in an attempt to get him off track, to question his salvation or to second guess his calling and assignment. That in that statement, in order for him to have moved on from his past mistakes, he not only had to accept God's forgiveness, but he also had to forgive himself.
I believe that there are people that may still struggle with this from time to time. That God wants them to begin again, to move forward, etc. where He's already forgiven them according to 1 John 1:9 (AMP): "If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose]." ... but the issue is that they still hold on to that past mistake. They allow the devil to tempt them with thoughts that they're not forgiven, that God can't use them anymore, that God is against them, etc. so they don't move forward. They become stuck. They chose to believe the lies of the devil instead of the words of God which says that they're forgiven and cleansed of all unrighteousness. This becomes a stumbling block to them.
My friend, don't allow the enemy to short-circuit your progress with God - it's having an impact and influencing so many areas in your life from moving forward.
Today God is reminding you that if you've asked Him for forgiveness, then you're forgiven! That there remains the opportunity to begin again, to move forward, to step into all that God's got destined for your life, to be a vessel through which He can speak through you to reach many many people and leaving a lasting legacy on this Earth ... So forgive yourself - and Begin Again - because God has forgiven you!
Amen.
Lamentations 3:21-24 (NLT)
Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!”